Posted in Phil's-o-sophy

3 Steps to Having a Wonderful Present

Here I am blogging after a long gap. I was on an emotional roller coaster and I have come to the conclusion that I absolutely detest rollercoasters.(physical, mental any kind!) They’re scary, unpredictable and make you scream till your throat hurts. Perhaps everyone has gone through or is going through these daunting rides. These are my views on how to let go of the past and have a great present and a superb future. I am no psychiatrist so don’t take these pointers as a doctor’s prescription.

1. Lament your loss

Yes. Go ahead, scream, yell, scribble, and even cry. Let it all out and it’s definitely going to make you feel much lighter and probably a little bit more like a child. Bringing out the child in us makes us feel easy and human-like. Those were times when it didn’t matter if we wore a bright orange bow with a parrot green dress, or how messy our shoes were. It brings back the simplicity that we lived in before the societal stigma stepped into our then innocent lives. So, give them your full attention and once you think you have eased up, don’t sugar coat them because if you do they’ll be lingering around the corner waiting to jump back.

My biggest regret would be trusting everyone that smiled at me or was even remotely nice to me. It took me this long to be able to say it out loud. Not everyone that hangs out with you every day or watches you gleam with joy is your trusted partner. The ones I thought would probably be there for eternity, let go of me as easy as you would throw away a tissue paper. So I have come to terms with this fact and I am learning to be more conscious of the people I let into my life or rather invest in. (I have developed a serious amount of trust issues but I think I’ll learn how to get rid of them slowly too.) Similarly, declutter your life.
2. Pardon yourself

Now that you have cried about it and pushed it all out into the air, it’s time to forgive yourself. This is crucial to moving on from the past for it is probably the longest of the battles in the war that you’re fighting. It is a war between your inner critic(the perfectionist voice in your head that berates and condemns) and the kind and loving person you want to be.

Whenever the inner critic gears up for battle, here’s what the kind voice needs to say:

You did the best you could at the time. If you had known better, you would have done better. If you had been capable of doing better, you would have done better. You didn’t have all the knowledge, foresight, maturity and strength and emotional intelligence and self-awareness than that you have now. You did the best you could with what you had.

The kind side hasn’t won over me yet but eventually, I know it will because I believe that happiness always triumphs.
3. Focus on changing your future

Now that you’re almost there, the next step is to live each day as if it were your last. This sounds very philosophical and deep but it works wonders! What if you had a huge fight with your family and you walked out just before you left for work or school? And God forbid, but something unfortunate happens and it ended up being your last day? A deep sense of guilt keeps your family awake. But in contrast, what if the opposite took place? The happy memories flood in them. Imagine every day of your life was a happy memory, think about the string of exotic memories that you leave behind.

Now you’ll probably be thinking, yeah it all sounds like a profound Guruji talking about, ” Positivity, Clear your mind, yadda, yadda, blah, blah…” and none of this is ever applicable. (Hell, my inner critic is saying that to me right now as I’m writing.) But only if I make a conscious effort in the present will it make any difference in the future that I aspire to be in. The same applies to you as well!

I’m not really sure if this helped you, but let’s get on this bandwagon together and kick out the regrets of your past live a happy life?

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Posted in Open Letters

Dear Best Friend||Open Letter

Dear Best Friend,

The moment someone says best friend, we immediately reminisce, someone, we’ve known all our lives and grown up together with but we haven’t. These letters usually begin with either an overflow of sentimental emotions or a series of insults. But I think we have enough number of posts on social media as proof for our love-hate relationship. We met in the most unexpected way but damn, PU would have been hell if I didn’t sit next to you on the bus ride back home. I’m not going to say we are more than friends, we are sisters and *insert emotional melodrama*. You are a part of me and so am I.

I’m the fourth child in your house and you’re the second in mine. We could swap houses and live in harmony except for the language barrier. (Guess I’ll handle that better given that all I hear you say is Tujha Maila! Tujha Nyuntar!) From giving me death glares to even scarier dirty looks, we dealt through 6 years of each other and I’m sure we’ll end up torturing the world for 60 more. From arguing about ‘which Riverdale character do you resemble the most’, we found solace in Arrow, Flash, Sherlock, F.R.I.E.N.D.S and not to forget Castle! (We would make a good Caskett, by the way, 😛 I’ll probably be the Castle given how much I annoy you.) Remember how you, your brother and I were watching Castle at your place one afternoon and three of us screamed with joy when Beckett rammed the table against a criminal and we sacred the living daylights out of your mom? xD

I used to wonder what made us click, despite being two completely different souls, but now I think I know. The universe conspires to bring two souls together who are meant to be, and two forces who make the rest of the world jealous that we have each other. From the time we’ve met, I have known that I can truly be my unashamed self with you and you have been someone I can share every tiny unimportant rant. We’ve had precisely two sleepovers. (YEAH! JUST TWO!) This is precisely why I want to get a house and move in with you for eternity! We’ve walked miles together laughing like mad women and gotten glared at for being too LOUD, and it’s so much easier to show them the We-don’t-give-a-damn face when you are next to me. We were the ones who wore DC teeshirts to a Marvel movie because why not? We love both of them. We cried over our horrible college schedules and made time for each other even if it is for half an hour at Spicy or Le Casse Croute and I am glad we made it work.

It’s not like we have never had fights but you are someone I can’t stand being mad at because you are MINE and I always will have something important to tell you. I will be the Cristina to your Meredith and your future Derek will have to adjust with that fact. Yes, we will make new friends and maybe we have, but I can say with confidence that we are each other’s number one for eternity. I don’t have to tell you how much you mean to me because we can read each other’s minds, and I know you will stick around to see what life has in store for us. I see myself on your wedding day finally wearing a Nath, being your child’s partner in crime, and the both of us sitting in wheelchairs arguing about which actor is better and giggling about our inside jokes.

Thanks for being the one person whom I can call and cry because it’s been too long since we saw each other’s face. Thanks for agreeing to take selfies with me whenever I want to even though you hate them. We may not flip like other girls when they see each other, but one hug a year is all that we need to fix our troubles. (I know, we make fun of the other kind because lifting our eyebrow and saying ‘Sup?’ with a smile is always better than ‘OHHHH MYYYYY GOOODDD!’ in a shrill tone.)  Thanks for being my Horcrux, my Ron Weasley and the Thalia to my Annabeth. You definitely are the Misal to my Pav, the kanda to my poha, the only ray of hope in my dark times. ❤

Stop that challenge of yours and let’s go eat some of your mom’s awesome food and our DBC with chocolate ice cream. 🙂 Happy 22nd birthday my psycho! (Hope this makes up for not being there today.)

Lots of love,
Your twin.

P.S. I can finally ride a bike!!! No more waiting for metros and BMTCs. :’)
Also, we need to go on a trip to celebrate 6 years of knowing each other and not driving our families crazy.

Posted in Memoires!, Travel

10 Reasons to Love Bangalore

If you’ve ever stayed in Bangalore for longer than 2 days, you’ve definitely found tonnes of reasons to live here for your lifetime! After watching Bangalore Days I’m sure half the people dream of living here and they are NOT wrong! Here are 10 reasons why I love the city that I was born, raised and living in and definitely love.

  1. The Weather!

    Yes, is there another city that can please you at any point in time? Need I remind we hardly have summer because it rains as and when you least expect it? And even if you hate the rains, the weather here is so pleasant that every day could be date night!
    Sunset in Bangalore

  2. The Food

    Bangalore city has the most diverse food culture you can ever get your hands on. Yeah yeah, you are probably saying, “Oh! Mumbai and Delhi have better food.” But really? From Darshinis to classy sit-down restaurants to pubs to dessert bars to pocket-friendly places which look pricey and even everyone’s favorite street side chaat, there’s literally nothing that the city can’t offer in different styles of cuisines with authenticity.
    You aren’t a Bangalorean if you haven’t tried Death By chocolate from Corner house and the burgers from Truffles, Obbattu from Holige Mane, and not to forget THE BEST DOSAS IN THE WORLD.

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  3. DOSA!

    Oh yeah! This had to be a separate deciding factor because there is literally no other city in our country that can make dosas like the ones we get in CTR, Vidhyarthi Bhavan, MTR and Taaza Thindi. Not that I’m saying dosas from the other Darshinis in Bangalore aren’t great but these places have stolen my heart every time someone says “Masala Dosa”. The dosas in Bangalore are always in the perfect shade of golden brown with the smell of ghee/butter tingling your nostrils and the insides with the generous smear of red chutney and aloo masala. Every time you tear a piece, dunk it in some chutney and the sambhar and put into your mouth, I can assure you that you are in heaven. (If anyone says sambhar from TamilNadu is better, suit yourself, I love the Karnataka style sambhar probably little more than I love my mom. 😛 )

  4. The People

    Bangaloreans are by far the most friendly people I’ve seen. If you ever get lost and Google Maps isn’t really saving you, walk up to the nearest person you see and they will give directions and even sometimes may draw you a map! You don’t know the local language? You can make do with ANY language that you know because the people here are so welcoming that they will make you feel comfortable regardless of where you are from. Yes, we do urge you to learn Kannada and not say “Kannada gothilla” even after years of staying here but hey! what’s the harm in learning the language? There’s no crime in knowing too many languages.

  5. Lung Spaces

    You might cringe and crib every time you think about passing by Silk Board junction or even Marathahalli bridge or just plain commuting in Bangalore, but this city has an abundance of parks and lakes to make you feel refreshed. Every area has at least one park and not to forget the gigantic ones; Lalbagh and Cubbon Park. From old uncles catching up with the daily gossip while sipping on filter coffee to athletic youngsters keeping tabs on their health to half sleepy dog walkers to even laughter clubs you are bound to notice different kinds of people in these spaces.

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  6. Activity Center

    You may all know Bangalore is the party capital of India, but there’s a lot more the city offers apart from just night-clubs. From book clubs, pottery, open mics, poetry slams, Carnatic music concerts even Harry Potter Meet-ups,  this city has all kinds of activities for you to be a part of and rekindle those long lost hobbies. Not to forget the beautiful flea markets near the MG road metro station and also the most preferred city for Standup comedians. You know how to plan your weekend if a few drinks down isn’t your ideal way to spend it.

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  7. Getaways

    You’re probably saying Lonavala and Ooty, Kodaikanal is enough for us, girl! But how long are you going to keep visiting those conventional hill stations? Plan a short trip on your long weekends to any of these places; Chikmagalur, Gokarna, Mangalore, Udupi, Hampi, Belur-Halebidu, Dandeli, Kudremukh, Coorg, Mysuru…. (Need I go on?)

  8. The Fun-Young Crowd

    Take a walk down Brigade Road and Commercial Street not just for shopping but also for some bird watching, or take a walk up Malleswaram, Basavanagudi, and Jayanagar for some sanskaari bird watching along with a lot of food hogging. (If you know what I mean. 😉 )

  9. Temple City

    Now that we covered the last point for youngsters, the slightly older ones need not fret. Bangalore has that many temples you could visit and actually finish your dinner just by eating the prasadam. (Psst! Bird watching is possible if you want a blend of both kinds 😛 )

    Iskcon Bangalore

  10. Land of Opportunities

    How many of you know someone who has come from another city to Namma Ooru in search of a job or to study and has not left the city? (If I had access to your webcams and front cameras, I could probably see you all say Me! Me! Me!)

    Nammooru is the best, no matter what! 🙂

Posted in Phil's-o-sophy

How To Enjoy Your Own Company?

How many times have you hesitated to go out by yourself and have a cup of coffee or a stroll around a park? How many of us have had the notion that ‘You’re a loner if you eat alone in a restaurant or watch a movie all by yourself.’? Believe me, I was one of them. I found it absurd to walk into a cafe or restaurant and sit there by myself and eat or sip on a cup of hot chocolate. I always needed someone to tag along while going to a restaurant. Now before you conclude that I’m a needy person, I’m independent in all perspectives but when it comes to enjoying my own company. My mindset changed once I stepped into college. I was able to accept the fact that it is possible to do all these things and a lot more by yourself. I realized that it is only a misconception that we “need” someone by our side to do a particular task and our own company isn’t enough. I’m not preaching that you have to antisocial or an introvert, all I’m trying to say is that you can be

  1. Accept that you are good enough for yourself.
    You must agree that you are a treasure and you don’t need another person to validate the same. It may be easy to find someone to spend time with, but when you have high standards for the people you allow into your life, you’re telling yourself that you’re better off by yourself than with someone who isn’t a great fit for you. Remind yourself that it is a choice and you made the decision for yourself.
  2. Learn to talk to yourself.

    You’re probably thinking “Whaaaaaat is wrong with her?! Is she going cuckoo?” But nope, I’m not. It is okay to talk to yourself. Each of us has an inner voice that talks to us at all times, and getting to know that person and how to talk to them is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. When you fill your time with other people, it is obvious that you will ignore this voice, but when you’re alone, it’s your only company. This voice rubs off on you. The way that you talk to yourself when no one else is around will shape who you are in this world. Learn to be kind to yourself. Fall in love with yourself. Given that you are hearing your inner calling, there is always our evil twin residing in us, providing you all those negative voices. Just like you’d distance yourself from negative friends who bring you down, it’s just as important to distance yourself from a negative inner voice. This might be hard to do by yourself, but as Dumbledore said, “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

  3. Find your “thing”.
    Now that you have found your inner calling, this will be relatively easier. “Your thing” can be as simple as taking a stroll around your colony, or petting animals, going to workshops, or even relishing lip-smacking food. Go ahead and pursue it by yourself! Sometimes, you end up meeting people who are either excelling at what you love or even amateurs. You end up getting inspired and also help another soul to aspire. You may find people who share the same interests but it’s all the more exciting when you do it by yourself.
  4. Observe, Read, Write, Express.
    While you are doing your thing, look around for a while, observe the people around you who are up to their own tasks. Trust me, you’ll end up seeing loads of specimens this world has to offer. Each person has their own aura when they are doing a task, observe them and make a mental note. Even better, write about it so that you can go back to it one day and replay. (At the same time, don’t creep that person out.) A lot of people don’t like reading, writing or both, but I feel it is one thing every individual has to try at least once in their lifetime. Go to a bookstore or library and sit there to read a book. I have bought books on suggestions by another fellow reader and they have always given me a better perspective of their personality. Buy yourself a cute little book and jot down your thoughts or if you aren’t comfortable writing, type it on your notepad. In this way, you learn to express your feelings in a better way. Even if you are not a person of words draw them, doodle them. Basically, do something that will remind you later of what a fun time it was to do something all by yourself!
  5. Give it a shot!
    Now stop thinking and go try it out! You will begin to accept who you are and also learn to respect yourself. I tried it, and I honestly loved it. Here’s a gist of what I did. It was November 30th, 2017, when I first tried it. I walked to Cold Stone Creamery and they were giving out free icecreams to people with nose piercings. Got me a cup of it, and savored every bite. I walked to the metro station and landed in what I call heaven; Blossoms. I spent the best three hours there reading Archies and smelling old books and carefully picking the ones that I wanted to add to my collection. I walked out and got myself a lemon soda, sipped on it on my way back. Walked back home with my heart content from the reading and good (free) food. I came back home and made myself a paneer roll. I thought it would be preposterous to do any of this by myself but I loved every bit of that day.IMG_20171130_111901_063
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Bare feet

“AND I’M BACK! I had been juggling exams, project reviews and a lot of rollercoaster experiences over the past one and half months and it’s all finally come to an end! I can finally say, “I’m freeeee!” Here is something that I wrote on one of these emotionally tiring days in that span of time and I think a lot of might relate to it. There are people in your life that may not stay with you forever for various reasons and being able to accept this fact takes a LOT of courage and strength.”

I’ve been doing the “I’m totally alright and I’ve moved on” act for a while now because I didn’t want to seem weak and desperate but I don’t know if this act is helping me in any way because it mostly makes me feel like I’m cheating on myself.

I honestly think I’m going crazy because I was on the metro yesterday and I couldn’t stop myself from scanning for a glimpse of your face at every station till I got down. And the last time I did this, you were there next to me telling me not to hope for a glimpse of a loved one.

I know that you don’t care, because you left me a long time ago saying you didn’t wanna hurt me more and from then it became my problem to deal with. And no matter how many people tell me that none of this is my fault, I can’t stop thinking otherwise.
I’ve been told to cry out loud, or scream my lungs out so that all the thoughts have a way to escape but here’s what I want it to do, keep it all in so that it reminds me and teaches me a lesson the next time I trust someone. The walls that I had built around me was slowly brought down because I felt I didn’t have to keep them around you, but that wasn’t the case. You’ve successfully broken down my walls and left me bare and open unable to make amends. Why shatter them when you knew you wouldn’t stay?! Why make me feel complete when you knew we weren’t?

I have replayed that day in my head probably a zillion times more than you did. Replayed only to think about scenarios that would never happen. But did you know I cringe every single time I replay it? My body loses its senses for that period of time and I shudder. Oh, you didn’t hurt me, more like we dug a deep hole and you gave me the spade and said “fill it up yourself.”

I don’t want you to be the someone that I hoped you might be, I don’t want you to be what we were before either, because I know that neither of them is genuinely possible. All I want is you to use your words to get me out of this mess that I never wanted to be in. You have more important people in your life to deal with, ones who make you happy and seeing you happy is all I wanted regardless of who’s making you smile but what about me? How long will I have to convince myself every day when I wake up to be a bright happy soul when I’m actually not? How much longer will I have to lie to myself that I’m doing perfectly fine? Because everyone seems to be buying the act except my inner soul.

Posted in Book Review

Book Review||Deception Point||Dan Brown

MONTH: April

BOOK: “Deception Point”

AUTHOR: Dan Brown

I AM BLOWN AWAY. HONESTLY! This man transported me to another world that is 173849402 times smarter than the one we live in. I can’t believe I hadn’t read his books earlier. Apart from the amazing storyline and the depth of detailing, this man taught me tonnes of new words and also made me realize how much I missed Biology. Let’s get into the book, shall we? Because otherwise, I can go on and on about how mesmerized I still am by the plot line.

Picture the White House and all the drama that you saw on House Of Cards, minus the dirty, kinky details, add a LOT of science and involve a major space organization. How interesting does this sound? Rachel Sexton, daughter of Senator Sexton, who is very ambitious about becoming the next President. The Senator being anti-NASA is aching to revolutionize the current system in the USA with his ideologies. Rachel, who works under William Pickering in the NRO under the current President Herney. She is a common civilian Intelligence analyst gets called by the President to verify the authenticity of NASA’s new satellite’s find, an astonishingly rare object buried under the deep Arctic ice. The rare object being a meteor, which crashed to earth in 1716, contained fossils of giant insects which was proof of extraterrestrial life. NASA that has been struggling to rebound from its blunders and jeopardizing its political life, is desperate for a win. But given its reputation for embarrassing goof-ups, the authenticity of this find is at stake and in comes, Rachel and a team of experts put together by the President. Micheal Tolland, a popular oceanographer, charismatic academic, along with Rachel find something amiss and begin investigating which puts them through a great ordeal, and they try to find answers to their doubts. This puts them on the hit list of a mysterious death squad that is controlled by someone who doesn’t want the team to expose their findings.

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They flee for their lives in lethal environments and reach near death experiences and struggle to stay alive only to warn the rest of the world and also find out who the main conspirer is. Treachery, survival techniques, scandals, drama and a whole lot of scientific terms makes this novel a page-turner and a mind-boggling thriller. The last 100 pages had up till 2 in the morning and Dan Brown is definitely one of the smartest and dynamic authors in this genre. I want to go as deep as I can with this review but I would not want to spoil it for any of you.

I would give this book 4.1/5 only because he went a little off track with all the science (not that I didn’t enjoy it, some of it was unnecessary. 😛 )

If you have not read a Dan Brown book yet, GO READ THIS ONE RIGHT NOW!! I will definitely go back to read the rest of his brilliant work. (I wanna kill myself for having this book for more than 3 years and still not reading it! Yes, go ahead and whack me.)

 

 

Posted in Memoires!

It’s raining books!

Ever felt a hug that could fill you with happiness all over your body? The one that makes you warm all over and the smell of the other person make you swoon and go dizzy just a little bit to go weak in your knees? A feeling that is so comfortable and loving that no one can match to the same extent. Yeah, I’m sure you’re all thinking of moments with your special someone, but then there’s me who’s trying to think of a book which made me feel the same.🙈 Love comes in different forms and sizes and I found mine in books with more 250 pages. (Books lesser than 250 pages is like eating only starters at a restaurant and the manager comes out to tell you that they are out of food.)

A gleeful four year old held on to her little Ladybird book, ‘The gingerbread man’ with all her might as she fell asleep with a few pages left and as her mother tried to remove her daughter’s grip, she realised that her daughter had already found love in something that was irreplaceable when she noticed how her tiny fingers curled tightly across the binding.

She took her daughter to her first bookstore and the look on the little girl’s face spoke volumes as she gazed at the tall shelves that she wanted to climb and pick all of them and lay them around her and lay down in happiness reading each of them. From fairytales to Ladybird to Amar Chitra Katha to Famous Five she grew up around books that made her happy, sad and sometimes even a little angry because of the way the author ended it.

As she grew older she found herself more comfortable around books than people and that’s when she realised she was a bookaholic. She swifted through genres giving justice to each one at a time and sometimes even cheated on some of them. 😂 Although she felt guilty she knew they wouldn’t mind because they saw how happy she was after reading each one of them. Libraries gave her more pleasure than the playground. Every library period in school was far more exciting than running around the playground chasing a ball. Well, duh! She found it absurd that 10 other people were chasing a ball was apparently very smart. Finding a old book hidden behind the shelves gave her dopamine rushes and hiding them safely so that no one else would find it was the most cunning thing she did!

Then came times when she could go all by herself to different bookstores and even though she had all the liberty to buy whichever she wanted, she sometimes had to control her urge to buy every book that she could lay her hands on! Coming out of a bookstore without buying a book or a whole bag of books was excruciatingly painful. When her friends spent nights crying over exes, she spent nights with glassy eyes and sometimes wailing out loud every time her favourite character died.

To all the readers here who don’t like reading or it doesn’t really excite you the same way it excited this little year old girl, start off with a comic book and I’m sure you’ll find your way through a journey that nobody can steal from you. (Unless you have a jackass voracious reader friend who loves to spoil books, RUN, RUN as fast as you can from that kind.)

Posted in Travel

Varkala!

DISCLAIMER: This post won’t be your perfect traveler’s experience but the pictures will speak volumes!

Imagine this, you walk through tiny lanes and nooks and corners and reach the edge of the cliff, and you look around to see tiny colorful shops and shacks selling knick-knacks, clothes, and jewellery, tall coconut trees till your eyes can see and you look below to see a well-kept beach with foamy waves splashing water with all its might. This isn’t a dream, this place actually exists in India. Varkala-Sivagiri is a small town in Kerala near Trivandrum.

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Insanely hot weather, beautiful clean beach to relax and take your time off from the hustle and bustle of namma Bangalore, this was THE place to go to! (If only the weather was cooler and not me sweating bullets and drinking liters and liters of water, I would have loved it more. :P)

There’s not much to sightsee apart from the Varkala Cliff beach, Kappil Beach, Odayam beach and Anjengo fort but each one of these places will take your breath away. Not to forget the colorful shacks and restaurants on the cliff which sell some amazing food. You might think you’ll end up with authentic Kerala food dripping in coconut oil but all of these restaurants on the cliff have Continental, Italian and Indian cuisines. Abba’s restaurant was on the top of my list and remains one of the best food I had on the trip. Most of these restaurants have events like Open mics almost every evening. I even got the chance to perform with a guitarist at one of the restaurants, God’s own Country Kitchen.

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I would suggest you go when the weather isn’t smoldering hot so that you would want to rip your clothes off. On at least one of the days of your vacation, make sure you wake up early in the morning and head over to the beach and take a stroll. The fresh air will definitely clear your head and also if you are in luck you might sight dolphins pretty close.Varkala has a lot of Thai massage parlors and is the Yoga hub for foreigners. I saw a lot of foreigners practicing Yoga early in the morning while Indians stood there gawking at them. ( The irony here though.)

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If you ever want a vacation to just relax and take your time off from all your troubles, this is your destination. Put on your sunglasses and take a backpack and head over there with a LOT of water in hand! I spent more time with my sketchbook than I did in Bangalore. It was a total dream come true vacation. (You can check out my artwork on my Instagram account linked here.)

You will meet some of the most friendly foreigners and over friendly restaurant and hotel owners here which might creep you out a little, but that’s how they are. (They did NOT creep us out at all! 😛 ) To travel to the other beaches and around the city, I would suggest you hire a bike for the day because the auto drivers will be on a fixed timetable and won’t let you take in all that serene goodness at your leisure. The cost is almost the same for both. The owners will be biased towards non-mallu people so it will be great if you drag along that mallu friend of yours to coax your way into a discount everywhere. 😛

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Duration of the trip: 3 days, 2 nights.
Total Expenditure: Rs.3000 (Inclusive of travel, food, stay and sightseeing)

Dark times, deep thoughts, eyes glistening with tears.
She pulled you up when you were sinking down your ocean of thoughts,
Taught you to float and swim even though you didn’t want to.
She pulled you to the shore even though she knew she may not survive,
but eventually, both of you made it.

Remember that night when it turned out to be awfully cold?
She was your hot chocolate on the cold winter night,
that night when you were lonely, hurt and broken.
She made you feel warm and cozy,
even though she was freezing to death.
She felt a sudden electricity run through her body,
when you wrapped your arms around her,
like how cold fingers touch a nice warm mug of hot chocolate,
Something changed her thoughts,
though all of this happened virtually.

Months have passed, seasons have changed.
It is bright and shiny now, spring-summer is here.
Trees adorned with fragrances kindled emotions,
that she never knew could exist.
Your smile turned out to be her weakness,
and little did she know that she was just on hold.
She let you into her closed life,
The one that was not so familiar to you,
yet it seemed like you knew your way.
Because it was Deja-vu to you.
She was treading along the same roads,
that you chose not to go ever again.
She thought you would be her hot chocolate,
Her lifeboat,
Her warm cozy blanket,
Her cool breeze in the hot summer air,
Little did she know that you were the rain,
The rain that visits her city in summer.
The hailstorm that hits her city once in a while,
to give pleasure to those worn out hearts.

Will You Be My Hot Chocolate?

Posted in Open Letters

Dear Backup Husband|| Open Letter

Now before everyone starts flipping if I have fallen in love or if I have found my special someone, let me stop you right here. 😂 This is the after effects of reading a Nicholas Sparks book. So calm down, and rekindle the romantic in you!

 

Dear Backup Husband,

I’m admitting it now, I have fallen for the guy I promised myself that I never would fall for. And I learned in the process that you fall head over heels in love and sometimes even fall out of it within weeks. But the time you learn what love actually is, it is when you give every bit of yourself. It is the first time you actually fall in love. You might stick on to it because it is the first time alone that you share your true self wholly to the other. You care for the person more than you care about yourself and you put their happiness on top of your priority list. Once it fails you, you restrict yourself from revealing what remains in you. The fear of losing more than you can afford, unwilling to make the same mistakes, unwilling to risk the remains of your fragile heart.
Your heart may not be the same as it was, as a piece of you will be left behind, unavailable to your future lover. A piece that held your innocence, your trials and errors and pain.
A piece that serves as a reminder of the friendship that you were ready to hold even by the thinnest strings, also of that first kiss you’ve relived a million times in the night on the day it happened and these are probably reasons why you wouldn’t wanna put yourself in to the loop of love again.

As a potential future lover, I know what you’ve been through, and as you might think my previous relationship was with a jerk and wasn’t as true as yours, let me remind you that I put in all my heart and soul just like you did. Yes, I wasn’t broken down as long as you were because you pulled me up when I didn’t ask you to do so and that made me believe that love can exist in its purest form. I can’t convince you to do the same because not everyone heals at the same pace. So, I am all set to go through the waiting but don’t ask me to forget how I feel because I am already going through the pain of beating myself up about it because a part of me says it’s not worth the pain, and another part that tells me to risk it all!
But here’s the thing I’m sure of, I’d rather settle for what we have right now than lose you in the process of convincing you to become something more than we can hold on to.
So if we’re still single in the next 10 years, and maybe if I helped you heal in some way, would you be my husband?

Until then will you be my backup husband? (You’ll still have all the perks, I promise)

Yours,
Backup wife