Dark times, deep thoughts, eyes glistening with tears.
She pulled you up when you were sinking down your ocean of thoughts,
Taught you to float and swim even though you didn’t want to.
She pulled you to the shore even though she knew she may not survive,
but eventually, both of you made it.

Remember that night when it turned out to be awfully cold?
She was your hot chocolate on the cold winter night,
that night when you were lonely, hurt and broken.
She made you feel warm and cozy,
even though she was freezing to death.
She felt a sudden electricity run through her body,
when you wrapped your arms around her,
like how cold fingers touch a nice warm mug of hot chocolate,
Something changed her thoughts,
though all of this happened virtually.

Months have passed, seasons have changed.
It is bright and shiny now, spring-summer is here.
Trees adorned with fragrances kindled emotions,
that she never knew could exist.
Your smile turned out to be her weakness,
and little did she know that she was just on hold.
She let you into her closed life,
The one that was not so familiar to you,
yet it seemed like you knew your way.
Because it was Deja-vu to you.
She was treading along the same roads,
that you chose not to go ever again.
She thought you would be her hot chocolate,
Her lifeboat,
Her warm cozy blanket,
Her cool breeze in the hot summer air,
Little did she know that you were the rain,
The rain that visits her city in summer.
The hailstorm that hits her city once in a while,
to give pleasure to those worn out hearts.

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Will You Be My Hot Chocolate?

Posted in Open Letters

Dear Backup Husband|| Open Letter

Now before everyone starts flipping if I have fallen in love or if I have found my special someone, let me stop you right here. 😂 This is the after effects of reading a Nicholas Sparks book. So calm down, and rekindle the romantic in you!

 

Dear Backup Husband,

I’m admitting it now, I have fallen for the guy I promised myself that I never would fall for. And I learned in the process that you fall head over heels in love and sometimes even fall out of it within weeks. But the time you learn what love actually is, it is when you give every bit of yourself. It is the first time you actually fall in love. You might stick on to it because it is the first time alone that you share your true self wholly to the other. You care for the person more than you care about yourself and you put their happiness on top of your priority list. Once it fails you, you restrict yourself from revealing what remains in you. The fear of losing more than you can afford, unwilling to make the same mistakes, unwilling to risk the remains of your fragile heart.
Your heart may not be the same as it was, as a piece of you will be left behind, unavailable to your future lover. A piece that held your innocence, your trials and errors and pain.
A piece that serves as a reminder of the friendship that you were ready to hold even by the thinnest strings, also of that first kiss you’ve relived a million times in the night on the day it happened and these are probably reasons why you wouldn’t wanna put yourself in to the loop of love again.

As a potential future lover, I know what you’ve been through, and as you might think my previous relationship was with a jerk and wasn’t as true as yours, let me remind you that I put in all my heart and soul just like you did. Yes, I wasn’t broken down as long as you were because you pulled me up when I didn’t ask you to do so and that made me believe that love can exist in its purest form. I can’t convince you to do the same because not everyone heals at the same pace. So, I am all set to go through the waiting but don’t ask me to forget how I feel because I am already going through the pain of beating myself up about it because a part of me says it’s not worth the pain, and another part that tells me to risk it all!
But here’s the thing I’m sure of, I’d rather settle for what we have right now than lose you in the process of convincing you to become something more than we can hold on to.
So if we’re still single in the next 10 years, and maybe if I helped you heal in some way, would you be my husband?

Until then will you be my backup husband? (You’ll still have all the perks, I promise)

Yours,
Backup wife

Posted in Book Review

Book Review||Message in a Bottle||Nicholas Sparks

MONTH: March

BOOK: “Message in a Bottle”

AUTHOR: Nicholas Sparks

Everyone knows that I’m a sucker for romance. The heartfelt hugs, stolen glances, brushing of arms, well you get the drill, it melts me and gives a warm fuzzy feeling. The best of them all is writing letters because it puts your soul into words which is an absolutely lovely feeling. Now, Nicholas Sparks has been my favorite author in the romance genre so you might think this review is biased. 😛

Coming to the book, the protagonist Theresa Osborne, a divorcee and a Boston columnist jogged along the beach of Cape Cod on a vacation after sending her twelve-year-old son to meet his father finds herself pondering over her life and the choices she had to make while staring at the beautiful waves crashing on the beach and the sun making its way through the heavy clouds. As she is about to turn around and head back she finds a bottle with a letter in it. A letter that changed her life forever.

My Dearest Catherine,

I miss you, my darling, as I always do, but today is particularly hard because the ocean has been singing to me, and the song is that of our life together… 

A letter so heartwarming and genuine written by Garrett Blake who unable to deal with his grief on losing his wife Catherine penned it down as a heartfelt tribute to show his devotion to his deceased wife. Theresa breaks down after reading it and she shows the letter to her dear friend and boss, Deanna who urges her into publishing it in her column in order to kill the curiosity. But this only leads to Theresa finding two more of the letters written by Garrett, letters showing his undying love, affection, and longing to Catherine. After a fair bit of research and harmless stalking, she finds Garrett and decides to use some of her vacation time to meet him.

She flies to North Carolina and convinces herself that if he is a 60-year-old man or a 25-year-old man she would turn back and head straight home. She finds his boat Happenstance and meets Garrett eventually and his masculine stance and tall, broad-shouldered, rugged look were enough to make her feel trapped and go dizzy. Soon enough, Theresa and Garrett understand that they might be ready to move on and fall in love again despite their past and give it everything even though there are instances where Garrett feels pangs of guilt settling in and the author shows this by describing subtle memories of the pair in their peak time.

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Nicholas Sparks, the man who knows exactly how to make even the toughest person go weak in their knees has written some beautiful letters and also brought a lot of life in this book urging people to believe in love and to yearn to be in love. The book has strong and detailed character development along with an intricate storyline where the protagonists overcome their tribulation. This book has a special place in my heart forever and also here is an excerpt from the book which I loved.

“With the sun descending slowly in the evening sky behind them, Garrett led the way back to where Theresa had been sitting earlier. After making sure there wasn’t anything behind her that might snag her clothes, they sat in the corner, she on the side, he against the back angled so that they could face each other. Feeling the wind in her face, Theresa pulled her hair back, looking out over the water.
Garrett watched her as she did it. She was shorter than he was, about five feet seven, he guessed, with a lovely face and a figure that reminded him of models he had seen in magazines. But even though she was attractive, there was something else about her that caught his eye. She was intelligent, he could sense that right away, and confident, too, as if she were able to move through life on her own terms. To him, these were the things that really mattered. Without them, beauty was nothing.”

RATING: 4.6/5

P.S: This book made me fall in love with beaches, even though I’m a total hill station person!

Posted in Phil's-o-sophy

Every Women’s day Post Ever

You have probably read too many women’s day blog posts and watched too many videos that are passive aggressive or just plain aggressive. Oh, I watched a lot of them too and nodded my head agreeing with every word they said. But one of them really caught my attention and I would like to share my thoughts as well.

Now you might presume this is a man bashing write up, but all you dear men reading this, trust me it isn’t. Being a woman, the biggest threat to us is assumed to be men. Men are rapists, they are always horny, they always want to get into our pants. They are judgemental, harassing and dominating and always ready to pull us down. But do you really think men are the only threat to a woman?

As a woman have you realized there are so many instances when you have been a threat to someone of your own kind? Remember the time when you pealed your eyes when you saw that boho girl next door walk out of her house in a pair of shorts and a spaghetti straps with black nail paint on her nails and a lot of chunky jewelry? Why so? Did you admire her style of dressing or did you judge her and call her a slut in your head? Half the girls in our country don’t wear the clothes they are actually comfortable in, not because of the mean men standing outside, but because of the judgemental aunties who live right next door. A crop top is not okay because it shows 2 inches of a girl’s midriff, but a saree is totally fine even though it shows 4 inches of the same midriff. (That hypocrisy though.) Now let alone dressing, even if you walk out in fully covered clothing, there will always be at least one aunty to say something. If a male friend drops you home, the aunty who is busy with her evening soap operas will take her timeout and wait till you get out of the car, or bike and nod her head disapprovingly and her other aunty friends will already be on speed dial waiting to hear the story.

“Eyy, why you so behenji? Wear something little more hep!”

“How are you so dark? You drink too much coffee or what? Wear some makeup.”

“Che che che, Lose some weight, eat less, do yoga!”

“Malnourished or what? No food at home? Men want some meat on the girl not only haddi!”

“Ohhoo! How is it that you have only male friends? So many boyfriends eh?”

PHEW! Their snooty comments are never-ending. You would want to gag them and beat them up like all the Tamil comedians get beaten up in movies!

Here is another instance, a smart young woman, very successful in her professional life, energetic and passionate about the work she does is always a prey amongst her hawk-eyed female colleagues. How many times have you been jealous of the appraisal of your female work friend? Yes, you shake hands with her and hug her congratulating her success but at the same time, you are wondering, “What did she do to get herself a promotion? How did she coax the boss? She must have flirted her way into it!” Cold wars and ego issues between women have become as normal as hearing about a rich man running away with the country’s money. How many times have you genuinely complimented your female co-worker for her the way she’s dressed that day or applauded her work? You might say, “Oh no! We don’t belong in that category women. I am very honest and I don’t bring anybody down.” But really, does that actually happen?

Now come down a little more into your close-knit circle. You meet this girl on the first day of college, and you vouch to be best friends for life. You get matching clothes and accessories and put up posts all over social media with #BestiesForLife. Four years down the line, all these posts only come up as a memory on your Facebook wall. You might say you have different priorities, goals and a lot more responsibilities. But imagine this situation, what if you and your best friend got into the same company for work, got married around the same time, probably were each other’s maid of honor, I’m sure you would have stuck around being best friends just because you have so much in common to discuss. Angry husbands, whiny children, overworking bosses and not to forget Mothers-in-law! But this rarely ever happens. Your current financial status is enough to forget those days you spent Rs 20 on your lunch. You start feeling inferior when your friend is doing better than you and that’s where you put your ego above the four years of friendship. You develop a complex within yourself over matters that were so insignificant when you were in college.

Now, what’s the solution to these issues? It all starts from home, the first solution is to all the mothers. We scream and fight so much about gender equality and feminism, and a mother is the best mode of action. The next time your relatives come home, don’t overwork your daughter. Split the chores between your daughter and son. Just because he’s got the Y chromosome, doesn’t give him the status of being a king. If you imbibe the thought that only women do household chores, he’s going to be dependent on women and assumes that only women do these tasks.

Every single issue between you and your girlfriends will be sorted out if you take the time out and openly talk about them. Remember women have better problem-solving skills. What if you didn’t feel jealous of that friend who’s settled abroad? What if that drives you to achieve more? What if you didn’t judge each other? What if you didn’t speak ill of each other? I’m sure most of the problems women face in their day to day lives if all of these solutions are put into action. Also, if we call each other sluts and whore, it makes it okay for men to call us the same! If you treat a girl like a garbage disposal bin, it makes it okay for everyone else to do the same! Let’s try to be supportive of one another and push each other to achieve higher in a positive way.

#GirlForAGirl I’m in this motive, are you?

Posted in Open Letters

Dear Guy Best Friend||Open Letter

Dear Guy Best Friend,

“You are the ketchup to my biryani,

The knife to my soup,

The tennis ball to my badminton,

The pickle to my hot chocolate.”

The point is, you are goobe/useless. This is probably the only the only time I am going to try and say nice things about you, even though you are such a pain and also the best assistant Satan could ever have. (Oops, I shall try to be nicer.)

Remember 5 years ago, around the same time, when I skipped out happily after the 11th-grade French exam and I saw you talking to one of my friends? And that one smile you shot at me was enough to make us talk and little did we know then that we would be weird souls who have no shame whatsoever in picking our noses in front of each other!

The number of times we’ve made fun of random people on the street about how weird they are and we were such fools to think we were absolutely normal. (Duh, I knew you were weird. :P) Yes, don’t deny it, you still are totally weird. Oh, and I had heard that guy best friends are a treasure to every girl because they are less drama. If only they heard your ‘I’m riding a camel and I’m high because I drank cough syrup’ stories, they’d definitely change their minds. From being each other’s 3AM call,(literally) to each other’s plus one for a lifetime, I’d run out of count for all the things we’ve partnered in. (And also my mom would flip if she found out you were the reason the landline bill went through the roof during CET prep.)

Given that you are irritating 99.999999999999% of the time, I should be given a Nobel Peace Award for patiently listening to your 9872681427516 theories on all things that a human could see, touch, feel and emote. You might also notice that this post is filled with a lot of numbers and this Math fascination of mine rose up higher after I met you. We were crazy enough to do a Math project on the PI. What were we thinking? Also, I hated probability thanks to you, since you always played Connect 4 and solved the problem simultaneously with speed like Flash and blurted out the answer just loud enough for me to hear and give up on the problem. (BTW, I don’t hate it anymore and I blurt out the answer now to annoy my friends here in college and I totally get why you did so! IT IS SO MUCH FUN! 😀 ) And speaking of college, I wish I could go back in time and change your preference order just so that you would have been here with me. Mostly for the reason that you said you got a new best friend. (Thanks for handling that tantrum so well 😛 If she’s reading this, I’m sorry that I was a tad bit jealous, I didn’t wanna share him.) Nevertheless, we still made time for each other and you still picked up fights with me for precisely no reason. From listening to you whine about your ex-girlfriend to my ‘I’m PMS-ing but that’s not the reason why I’m ripping your head off’, to illogical conversations, our friendship grew deeper roots. From bike rides to IISc (dibs on those baby corn fritters), to Harry Potter word building, to getting lost in search of Thatte Idli, to eating street chaat in the rain, to sharing gory details of our lives we outdid every single theatre production.

Every time someone saw us together I have had them asking if we were dating and we’d be amazing together, I sometimes said yes just to shut them up because the society we live in doesn’t understand the fact that a guy and girl can be best friends. They are just plain jealous that we found each other. I don’t know if I have ever told you this, but you have always inspired me and I’ve been your number one fan. Right from stories about hacking websites to Interstellar theories you have had me in awe.(TBH, I may have fallen asleep for a few.) Although I might have been the Patronus in your life, you threw the spell at every dementor that attempted to hit you in the face. Thank you for being my number one cheerleader and also for being my own personal jokester because no matter how sad I was you knew how to lift my spirits up and pull me up on the days when I felt like a garbage dump yard.

Five years went by very strong and I realize that maybe we have grown out of our childish memories and we have started moving apart. Those seen zones and your excuses to not meet me speak volumes. I don’t blame you because you aspire to be the next Sundar Pichai or maybe the first of yourself but I regret not fighting for you hard enough. Perhaps had I thrown a few more hysterical reasons, you might have stayed. But knowing how stubborn you are when it comes to decisions you make, I doubt if I could have changed something. Maybe, 10 years down the line we might see each other in a different country at a Harry Potter conference, let’s try to rekindle our friendship? Round 2 might be better. After all, who are you gonna prank if not for me? 😀

P.S. You still owe me a birthday treat at VV Puram food street.

Love,

Your female version.

ALWAYS :’)

Posted in FOOD!

Iyengar Bakery Style Eggless Honey Cake||No Oven Recipe

If you are Bangalorean and a foodie, finding good places to eat isn’t a hard task. The most popular ones among college students apart from street food are bakeries. Why? Because of the rates and relatively more hygiene compared to the steaming Tawa pulao frying on a cart at the corner of the street. There are many days when hostel-ites survive their day over a veg puff and aloo bun.

The recipe I’m posting today has been a childhood favorite of mine from Iyengar Bakeries all around Bangalore. It is the infamous Honey Cake. Do you see how luscious, gooey and soft it is! :’)

Honey Cake slice

Ingredients:

For the cake

  • 1.5 cups Maida or plain flour
  • 1/2 cup Sugar Powder
  • 1 cup thick Curd
  • 1/2 teaspoon Baking Soda
  • 1 teaspoon Baking Powder
  • 1/2 cup flavorless Oil
  • 1 teaspoon Vanilla Essence

For the glaze

Honey Glaze:

  • 2 tablespoons Honey
  • 1/2 teaspoon sugar
  • 4 tablespoons water

Jam Glaze:

  • 4 tablespoons Mixed Fruit Jam or Strawberry Jam
  • 8 tablespoons water
  • 1/4th teaspoon sugar
  • Desiccated coconut

Procedure:

  1. Combine the curd and sugar powder and beat well using a whisk until the sugar dissolves completely. You can add a few extra spoons of sugar in case you have a sweeter tooth 😀
  2. Add the Baking soda and Baking powder and whisk again. You will notice the mixture becoming frothy and increasing in volume. Let it rest for 5 minutes.
  3. Add the oil and the vanilla essence and mix again until it combines well.
  4. Sift the flour into the mixture and whisk until it is lump free and smooth.
  5. Take a cake tin or any aluminum tray and smear it with generous amounts of butter and dust it with flour. Do not skip this step, else you will have a tough time getting the cake out of the mold. Add the cake mix into the cake tin.
  6. Take a thick bottomed pressure cooker and add about 3 cups of regular salt and place a wire stand or a cooking ring. Close the cooker without the gasket and the weight. Let it heat for 5-7 minutes.
  7. Place the cake tin in the cooker and let it bake for 30 minutes.
  8. After 25 min, check if the cake is cooked by inserting a toothpick or a knife in the center of the cake. If it comes out clean, then your cake is cooked, else let it cook for another 5-8 minutes.
  9. Here comes the most difficult part of baking. Once the cake is baked completely let it cool in the mold for at least 2 hours or until it reaches room temperature. [I CAN NEVER WAIT 😥 ]

Vanilla Cake

10. Here’s what you can do when you have to wait, make the glaze. The first glaze is the Honey Glaze. Add the water and sugar into a nonstick saucepan and dissolve over low heat. Let the syrup thicken a little and add the honey. Do not cook the sauce once you add honey. Gently dissolve the honey into the syrup. Your honey glaze is done.

11.The second glaze is the jam glaze. Add the water, sugar and dissolve over medium heat. Add the jam and combine with the sugar water. Keep stirring and it will begin to thicken. In case you take the glaze too far, you can always bring back to a thinner consistency by adding a few spoons of warm water.

12.Now hopefully your cake is cooled, poke a few holes in your cake and generously spread the honey glaze over it. It will absorb most of it. Spread the jam glaze as well and shower it with desiccated coconut.

Honey Cake Slice

NOTE: If you can’t find desiccated coconut in your supermarket, powder fresh coconut in a food processor and toast it lightly over a very low flame until it is not sticky. It should not have any color on it. It should remain white or probably pale yellow.

 

Posted in Book Review

Book Review|| Those Pricey Thakur Girls||Anuja Chauhan

MONTH: February

BOOK: “Those Pricey Thakur Girls”

AUTHOR: Anuja Chauhan

 

The cover of the book has a line, “The only Indian writer of popular fiction really worth buying” -Mint is the very reason I picked up the book and midway through, I had to agree! I had read The Zoya Factor by the same author and the book brought out subtle nuances of sarcasm filled with moments of giggles and perfect expression of Indian attitudes and mentalities of a common middle-class household. ‘Those Pricey Thakur Girls’ did the same along with a lot of well-balanced humor and typical, genuine references to common elements such as gender inequalities, political drama, and also the judgemental yet sometimes free-thinking society we inhabit. It is a beautiful chick-lit which will definitely steal all your sleep and push you to sweep through the pages.

The story revolves around two distinct families, the Thakurs (obviously) and the Shekhawats set in 80’s in the capital, Delhi. The head of the Thakur family, Laxmi Narayan Thakur is a man of honor and also possessive about his well-kept garden blooming in full spirit, his evening kot-piece game with a bowl of Maggi and his entertaining friends and most importantly his five excessively beautiful daughters. Here’s the fascination, their names are all in alphabetical order; Anjini, Binodini, Chandralekha, Debjani, and Eshwari. (Phew! That’s a handful.) Each one of them as pretty as the other and equally troublesome. Debjani aka Dabbu, the female protagonist who is very attractive and well-spoken and she bags the role of the newsreader on the infamous DD channel(DeshDarpan :P)  at the very outset of the novel and she steals the heart of the entire nation with her cute mole on the face.

Soon enough, Dylan Singh Shekhawat rolls in with his tousled hair, lean dimples and effectively being the Jaan of the office and also being a shining star in his professional life as an investigative journalist. Although his personal reputation damaged to a far extent thanks to all his past relationships, he storms through your heart with his death by chocolate looks added with a whole lot of chocolate sauce and excessive toppings! Now the D for Dabbu, D for Dylan strategy doesn’t take long to sink in with all that kot-piece games, pretty eyes, and ladybird rings encircling her fingers and enticing our man. Our man Dylan brings in the villain Mr. Motla, a corrupt politician whom he tries to expose.

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The book is bound to keep you entertained throughout by her way of narration and also the way she has built every single character along with the storyline. She has built the characters of a quintessential Chachiji, a Hot Dulari along with the five main girls, with unique characteristics. She even brought the popular teenage life of Eshwari along with the other older characters. Chauhan also brought out the cute romance of the teenager who is swooned over by the entire high school especially by Satish aka Steesh! Not to forget the other characters, Anjini, the oldest sibling, a hopeless flirt. Binodini who is very anxious about her right over the family property. Chandralekha whose role isn’t very elaborate like the others but has significance importance. Oh! I forgot to mention the role of the local store owner and Shekhawat’s mother, both adding a lot of masala to the whole story.

If you are looking for a light yet frivolous read, this book has got to be your first choice. I wouldn’t mind reading the book over and over with her sharp sarcasm and inappropriate humor at the right places! I would give this book 4.3/5 for her charming and toe-curling sexy rom-com.

 

Posted in Memoires!

How I hosted my first Open-Mic!

Now hosting events wasn’t a new task for me as I had been exposed to it since school days, but this was a special one as I got to interact with a lot of like-minded artists who were from different fields such as Music, Poetry, Stand up comedy and a lot more. I got this opportunity by becoming a volunteer at Platform For Artists, Bangalore.(PFA) Being a performer at one of their previous events, I thoroughly enjoyed the event. As a performer, I learned that even though I focussed on painting and my journey through it since childhood, a lot of them found their passion at various points in their lives and pushed themselves to pursue the same with utmost ardor despite their professional commitments.

Platform For Artists focuses on providing opportunities to people from different backgrounds of fine art to showcase their artwork and also perform and share their journey.  In order to perform at the open mic at PFA, you don’t have to be a professional in your field. An amateur is given the same applause as that of a professional. We intend to build a casual atmosphere for artists to collaborate and connect with each other. Usually, most Open Mics focus on Poetry or Music but the one by PFA has no restriction on the form of art or even your educational background and also find potential partners who could help you expand your horizon.

The event was held at Lahe Lahe, Indiranagar, a space for expression on the 27th January. Although it was a long weekend and a cozy Saturday afternoon, a crowd of 45 enthusiastic audiences turned up. Each one of the sixteen artists that performed was equally talented in the field of Music, Spoken Word, Stand up Comedy and Filmmaking. One of the most lively performances was by an independent paraplegic who showcased his knack with words through hip hop beats and rap. Now when you think poetry, you probably think unpronounceable words and a lot of deep intense feelings. But a few of the performers brought their easy-breezy style through Shayari. My personal favorite was Stand up comedy as there is nothing that cannot be solved with a good amount of laughter and they ensured the same with perfectly timed one-liners and relatable daily life incidents. The poets in the crowd expressed their opinions through beautifully crafted words on mental health awareness, peer pressure, army life and on a lighter note, memorable childhood experiences. Along with all the performances a networking session also took place which let artists engage in conversations with each other.

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In case you aspire to be a host of an event, here are a few pointers to keep in mind from all my experiences.

  • The moment you hold a mic make sure you flash your pearly whites and greet everyone warmly.
  • Make sure you keep a script ready in hand in case it is your first time. (You won’t need one after you have hosted a few as you will learn to improvise on spot.)
  • It is OKAY if you make a mistake while talking, apologize and continue.
  • Always be confident.(People won’t realize that you’ve made a mistake if you are bold and strong in your oration skills.)
  • You could always speak in more than one language. But ensure you choose a language you are comfortable in apart from the one you are hosting in. Say perhaps your base language is English and you are fairly comfortable with Kannada as well, add a few words and sentence to engage the audience to break the monotony.
  • If your mic isn’t on a stand then pace around the stage and make a few hand gestures.
  • Be lively and interactive with the crowd.
  • In case you want to add a few jokes, please don’t try too hard to make people laugh, make sure they are subtle and easy to understand.
  • At last, make sure you dress neatly, as all eyes will be on you! 😉

It is never too late to give it your first trial at your college fest or school event!  Trust me, there is a sense of power when you take a firm grip on the mic and address a crowd. 🙂 Good luck!

 

 

Posted in Open Letters

Dear Could-Have-Been-My-Significant-Other|| Open Letter

Dear Could-Have-Been-My-Significant-Other,

Phew! That’s a long name for you but I couldn’t find a shorter nickname. But hey! It’s not a long time since I spoke to you. (Yeah, I just sent you a zillion messages about some stupid incident that I encountered.) Although it’s been a while since I had a heartfelt conversation with you, fearing you might run away from questions you don’t want to answer like you always do.
Like I said this isn’t the first time I’m getting seen-zoned because you already know how I text, one sentence per text so I assume you’re waiting for me to finish my story, but I already did, 3 min 28 seconds ago! Why haven’t you replied yet!?
Yeah, that’s fine, you have other “important” matters to deal with but will I ever be put into that folder? I wish you did do that, my girl best friend would have thanked you profusely because the number of times I’ve ranted to her is beyond imagination. Okay, you finally did reply and your messages are the right amount of cryptic. (How do you always manage to do that?)

Now don’t think I’m a psycho girl who’s always desperate for your messages, I’m just another girl who has been crushing on you for a while. Although both of us have had our fair share of crushes, I feel you are somewhat different all for one reason, you managed to make me stop reading a book or put down my paintbrush and answer your question or respond to your messages and I assumed that you would do the same. Unfortunately, that was my biggest mistake, an assumption which has been the root cause of a lot of my unnecessary thinking.

Every time we went out together how did it matter if I was there with you or not? Why did my approval matter to you when you checked-out other girls in pretty dresses or cute glasses? (As if my opinion matters, you’re still going to look at her longingly. Hmph.) Now at the same time, if I tell you that the guy walking absentmindedly kicking a few pebbles on his path looks cute, you always say he isn’t. How does that work, eh? Every once in a while you said I looked adorable or said I didn’t look remotely as scary as I normally do, that put me up above the clouds but the very next second you said, “Just kidding, you still look like the big bad witch from a fairytale.” effectively bringing me back to Earth. Honestly, I don’t know how I fell for you(that’s what everyone says) because you’re the kind that finds pleasure in aggressive rock music, and I’m the kind that runs away from it. You’re the total sports person, the most amount of sports I played was whipping cake batter vigorously!(Arm workout, hey! That’s a thing okay?) You were into all sorts of video games, needless to say, my hand-eye coordination was brilliant to even think of playing NFS. I can paint the world with my brushes, and drawing a free-hand circle deserves a Lifetime achievement award for you. (BTW, that looked more like an ellipse :P) Seriously, the mysteries of the heart need an enlightened cryptographer to decipher it. I still don’t think the blunder was falling for you, it was thinking you did too.

You became a habit that I didn’t want to change. Memories of you flashed into my head at the most random moments and would have me smiling like an idiot for the rest of day. Sometimes I wish I had done something about what I felt, or change something that I had done but here’s the thing, you were exactly what I wanted at that point of time and it’s neither your fault nor mine that it didn’t work out. I realized all this only when all of my theories about life, love, and emotions failed miserably and I altered them accordingly to suit our situation.

I could go on and on about this but here’s the thing, you got me better than anyone could. You said the right things at the right moments. You went on to advise me and even yelled at me when I needed a whack on my head to remind my brain to start working efficiently. (Not to forget that this happens a lot to you too.) Our love for food and Harry Potter makes you my favorite person in the world! I might be a tiny bit crazy, hangry and also childish but aren’t you comfortable with all that? As bizarre as this sounds, there’s probably an Earth 3437901 where our doppelgangers might be the perfect fit. Yes, I’m a hopeless romantic. (Thanks to all the Nicholas Sparks books that I’ve read.) In case you’re able to make this brilliant car that’ll let us travel to that Earth, I would love to see our doppelgangers work their way through the hurdles. 🙂

Until then.

Yours,

Could-Have-Been-Your-Significant-Other.